Customer Asking for "Mates Rates": How to Respond Without Losing the Job
The psychology of discount requests, boundary-setting scripts, when to say yes vs no, and how to protect your pricing power with friends and family.
"You'll do mates rates, yeah? Just covering your costs. We go way back."
The customer isn't actually your mate. You met them twice. Here's how to handle discount requests without torching the relationship or your profit margin.
Why Customers Ask for "Mates Rates" (The Psychology)
Understanding why people ask for discounts helps you respond without getting defensive:
Why Customers Request "Mates Rates"
1. Anchoring to retail pricing
They see £40 taps at B&Q, assume your £180 quote is "overpriced," and ask for a discount to get closer to retail. They don't understand labour, expertise, insurance, or guarantees cost money.
2. Testing negotiation leverage
Some customers ask for discounts on every purchase (cars, houses, services) because it works 40% of the time. They're not offended if you say no—they just try.
3. Genuine budget constraints
They actually can't afford full price but need the work done. They're hoping you'll meet them halfway rather than lose the job entirely.
4. Social relationship leverage
"We're mates" is an attempt to shift the transaction from business to personal. If you're "mates," surely you'll help them out? (Even if you barely know them.)
5. Perceived unfairness of pricing
They think: "It's only 2 hours of work and some materials—how can it be £450?" They don't factor in: your van, tools, insurance, training, business overhead, or the fact you can't bill 8 hours/day.
The pattern: Most "mates rates" requests aren't personal attacks. They're either (a) standard negotiation tactics, or (b) genuine confusion about what skilled trades actually cost.
The Real Cost of "Just 10% Off"
Discounts look small as percentages. They're huge as profit erosion:
| Job Value | Your Margin | Profit | 10% Discount | Actual Profit Loss |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| £500 | 25% | £125 | £50 | 40% of profit |
| £1,500 | 30% | £450 | £150 | 33% of profit |
| £4,000 | 28% | £1,120 | £400 | 36% of profit |
| £8,000 | 32% | £2,560 | £800 | 31% of profit |
The math: A 10% discount on revenue = 30-40% discount on profit. That £50 discount? You just gave away nearly half your margin.
At scale: If you give 10% discounts on 20% of jobs, you're cutting annual profit by 6-8%. That's £6,000-£8,000 per year on a £100K turnover business.
When to Say Yes to Mates Rates (Strategic Discounts)
Not all discounts are bad. Some are smart business:
| Scenario | Discount Justification | Max Discount |
|---|---|---|
| Repeat customer (5+ jobs) | Loyalty reward; lifetime value justifies small margin sacrifice | 5-10% |
| Referral source (sent you 3+ customers) | Marketing cost savings (cheaper than ads); incentivizes more referrals | 10-15% |
| Portfolio job (great for photos/testimonials) | Marketing value; you'll use this job to win future work | 10-20% |
| Fill-in work (you'd otherwise have downtime) | Covers overhead during slow period; better than zero revenue | 10-15% |
| Bulk work (customer has 3+ properties to do) | Economy of scale; reduced mobilization costs, guaranteed pipeline | 10-12% |
| Vulnerable customer (genuine hardship, elderly, disabled) | Goodwill; community reputation; you can sleep at night | 10-20% |
| Close friend/family | Personal relationship; but set clear boundaries (see section below) | Cost price (materials + labour, no markup) |
The rule: Discount only when there's a business or personal reason beyond "they asked nicely." Strategic discounts = investment. Reactionary discounts = profit loss.
When to Say No to Mates Rates (Boundary Protection)
Some discount requests should be firmly declined:
| Red Flag Scenario | Why You Should Refuse | What Usually Happens If You Discount |
|---|---|---|
| First-time customer demanding discount | No relationship = no loyalty; they'll price-shop next job anyway | They complain about quality, pay late, never return |
| "I can get it cheaper elsewhere" | Bluff or price shopper; if true, they should go elsewhere | They accept discount, then compare you to cheaper quote forever |
| Customer aggressive or entitled | "You're ripping people off" tone = future nightmare customer | Complaints, bad reviews, payment disputes, stress |
| Distant acquaintance claiming "mates" | Met once at a barbecue ≠ mates; they're exploiting weak connection | You resent doing job, they expect more favours, relationship sours |
| Customer wants "cash job" discount | Tax evasion trap; HMRC penalties + reputational damage | Legal risk, no recourse if payment issues, guilt |
| Job you're already stretched on | Calendar full = your time is valuable; discount makes no sense | You work for peanuts when you could take a full-price job |
The principle: If giving a discount makes you feel resentful before you've even started work, that's your gut telling you to refuse.
Response Scripts for Every "Mates Rates" Scenario
What to actually say when customers ask for discounts:
Mates Rates Response Scripts
Scenario 1: Distant acquaintance claims "mates rates"
Customer: "Come on, we're mates—you'll do me a deal, right?"
You: "I appreciate the relationship, and I've quoted you my best price already. My rates are the same for everyone—keeps it fair and means I can stay in business to look after all my customers properly. The quote stands at £X, but I'm confident you'll be happy with the quality."
Scenario 2: Customer says "Just cover your costs, mate"
Customer: "Just charge me cost price—materials plus your time."
You: "I wish it worked that way, but my costs aren't just materials and labour. There's insurance, vehicle running costs, tools, training, business overhead—the job needs to cover all that to be sustainable. The price I've quoted already reflects fair value for the service. Happy to walk you through the breakdown if that helps?"
Scenario 3: "I can get it cheaper elsewhere"
Customer: "I've been quoted £200 less by another guy."
You: "That's fine—if you're more comfortable with their quote, I'd recommend going with them. My pricing reflects [specific value: guaranteed workmanship, insurance-backed, 12-month warranty, etc.]. I can't match £200 less and maintain the same standard, so I'll leave it with you. Let me know if you'd like to proceed at my quote."
Scenario 4: Genuine budget constraint (customer you like)
Customer: "I really want you to do this, but £1,800 is stretching my budget. Can you help me out?"
You: "I understand budget's tight. A couple of options: (1) We could phase the work—do the essential bits now for £1,200, then the rest in 3 months when you've saved up. (2) I can offer a payment plan—50% now, 50% on completion. But I can't drop the price without cutting corners, which I won't do. Which option works better for you?"
Scenario 5: Close friend/family asking for help
Friend: "Can you help me out with my bathroom? Family rates?"
You: "Of course. For close family, I do cost price—materials plus my hourly rate at cost, no markup. That would be around £X for materials and £Y for labour. I'll fit it in around my paying jobs, so the timeline might be a bit longer. Does that work?"
(Note: Set this boundary clearly. "No markup" is generous but protects your time value. "Around paying jobs" manages expectations re: timeline.)
Scenario 6: Aggressive demand for discount
Customer: "£600? You're taking the piss. Do it for £400 or forget it."
You: "I understand it's more than you hoped. Unfortunately, I can't do the job properly for £400—my costs don't allow it. If £600 doesn't work for your budget, no hard feelings, but I'll have to pass on this one. Best of luck finding someone who can help."
(Then walk away. Customers who start aggressive rarely get better. Not worth the stress.)
Friends and Family Discount Policy (Set It Once, Stick to It)
If you don't define your friends-and-family policy upfront, every casual acquaintance becomes "family." Here's a sustainable approach:
Recommended Friends & Family Discount Policy
Tier 1: Immediate family (parents, siblings, children)
- Pricing: Cost price (materials at trade + hourly labour at your base cost, no markup)
- Timeline: Around paying jobs (no priority scheduling)
- Scope: Small to medium jobs only (not full house renovations that take weeks)
- Limit: One job per year (prevents becoming their on-call maintenance guy)
Tier 2: Close friends (would attend their wedding)
- Pricing: 10-15% discount off standard quote
- Timeline: Fitted in when possible, no guaranteed turnaround
- Scope: Standard jobs (£500-£3,000 range)
- Limit: Once per year, or refer to Tier 1 treatment for emergencies
Tier 3: Extended family, acquaintances, colleagues
- Pricing: Standard rate (no discount, but you'll prioritize quality/service)
- Timeline: Normal scheduling (they go in the queue like any customer)
- Scope: Any job
- Why no discount: You'd give any customer great service; being acquaintances doesn't justify profit loss
Communicate the policy clearly:
"Just so you know my approach: I do mates rates for immediate family at cost price, close friends get a small discount, and everyone else gets my standard rate. That way I'm not playing favourites and I can keep the business sustainable. For you, that means [tier explanation]. Does that work?"
Why this works: By defining tiers upfront, you avoid the awkward "are we close enough for a discount?" conversation. Immediate family know they're covered. Casual friends know not to expect freebies.
The Verdict: Protect Your Pricing, Not Your Pride
Mates rates requests aren't personal—they're standard negotiation tactics.
Here's your response system:
- 1. Understand the ask – Negotiation tactic, budget constraint, or relationship leverage?
- 2. Calculate the real cost – 10% discount = 30-40% profit loss; worth it or not?
- 3. Discount strategically – Repeat customers, referral sources, portfolio jobs = yes; first-timers, price shoppers = no
- 4. Use prepared scripts – "My pricing is fair for everyone" beats defensive explanations
- 5. Set friends/family policy – Define tiers once, apply consistently, avoid resentment
- 6. Walk away from bad-fit customers – Aggressive discounters become nightmare clients
The businesses that struggle with mates rates are the ones who feel guilty saying no. The ones with healthy margins? They know their worth, state their price, and let customers decide.
Your pricing isn't negotiable just because someone says "we're mates." Real mates respect your business. Everyone else can pay standard rates.